Joan Rivers has died aged 81 and as she was one of the first female comics I came across who actually made me spit my coffee across the table with the inappropriateness of her comments and the sheer audacity of her opinions I had to remember her here - so I don't ever forget her.
I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I’d look like without plastic surgery.
My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese. Most of it’s missing, and what’s there stinks.
All babies look like Renée Zellweger pushed against a glass window.
The people voting for the Oscars are so old. I haven’t seen one Academy award voter with a tampon in her purse.
I like colonic irrigation because sometimes you find old jewelry.
My husband wanted to be cremated. I told him I’d scatter his ashes at Neiman Marcus – that way, I’d visit him every day.
You may have read these quotes before as they appeared in The Guardian newspaper but I must admit I couldn't have found better to illustrate her wit.